Have you ever praised your child for being smart or getting a good grade?
Well, chances are you actually discouraged them.
What? How come?
Because talent is a fixed trait, an individual is either talented or they are not.
Grade is the outcome, not the cause.
Focusing on your child's grades gives them anxiety. Emphasizing his or her talent demotivates them.
You might think that it will motivate them to get better – it actually does the exact opposite.
The solution: emphasize your child's effort. Encourage them to take baby steps.
Your child directly controls his or her efforts. But they can't directly control his or her grades. Encourage and praise your child's efforts. Do not focus on his or her grades.
This is a mistake a lot of parents make. I have made this mistake myself, in the past!
This might seem ridiculous to you - grades are important! Grades are crucial for college, for GPA and for scholarships.
I agree, they are important in the school system – as a measurement tool.
But focusing on grades doesn't help in raising them.
Imagine playing basketball. Would watching the scoreboard help you? No! You will get hit by the ball!
You need to focus on making plays, passing the ball and taking shots – you need to focus on taking action.
That's how you improve your grades as well – by taking action and emphasizing the effort, not by focusing on the goal.
Praise your child when they put in the effort, not when they receive the grade.
Encourage your child to do their best, no matter what grade they have or expect to have.
Explain to them that results come after putting in consistent effort.